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Crockett Reviews: Big Hero 6

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Here’s C13 correspondent Crockett Doob with another poignant review of what’s going on at your neighborhood movie theater. All part of our emerging CROCKETT REVIEWS Series. Check back for more soon!

ON BIG HERO 6

It’s creepy. It’s about an inflatable healthcare robot that, when low on batteries, becomes shrivelled and behaves like a fall down drunk. It speaks with a pre-recorded voice: male, blithe, debatably asexual. (But who wants to debate that?) Also the teenage girl characters have lots of accentuated body parts, which is somewhat new terrain for Disney. I guess they took a tip from Pixar’s Mrs. Incredible. And another tip from Heavy Metal. But at least those were women. Princess Aurora and Cinderella were never so voluptuous. It’s not the best feeling to be attracted to cartoons. But it’s definitely not the best feeling to be attracted to underage cartoons. Finally, the most creepy thing about Big Hero 6: the co-director’s previous movie was Bolt.

Bolt I saw by myself. And it was depressing as hell. I wasn’t doing great at the time anyway. But see, a movie like Bedtime Stories, which I also saw by myself during that same period — on an especially rough night — totally did the trick. A charming movie. I’m afraid I can’t say the same for BoltBolt is the kind of movie that makes one feel alone inside. The old Why Bother? feeling comes on strong when watching the little white dog, Bolt (Travolta, why?) run into the arms of his 12 year old owner, Penny (Miley Cyrus, why?) in 3D. Had I known Big Hero 6 was so strongly affiliated with Bolt, I probably would have shown some restraint. But, the walk away — really — in the end, was, at least I didn’t see Big Hero 6 by myself.

Okay. To make this review a little happier– Movies I’ve gone to alone and had a great time:

Get Him to the Greek: After enjoying Russell Brand so much in Bedtime Stories, I went by myself on the spur of the moment, sat in the front, loved it. The movie had its problems for sure, but I liked the characters.

How To Train Your Dragon (the first one — the second I saw with another adult. See? Progress.): One of the best feelings when watching a movie, I think, is not liking it at first, then being won over. That’s what happened here. Good movie.Ramona and Beezus: This is a children’s movie. When it came out, I had a beard and for some reason I had started wearing a straw cowboy hat. Sounds sort of like a midlife crisis if a Ferrari is not possible. Anyway, I felt conspicuous. But once the movie began, it didn’t matter. I was charmed.

A well executed children’s movie is a great thing. Like The Iron Giant. But a cheap one, like Big Hero 6, can feel like some lowest common denominator bull. Like Sex and the City 2 for kids.

– CD